Keeping my mind away from problems..

I actually love hang over.. i feel like I've really enjoyed last night and have an excuse to just sit back and relax.. ^^

I enjoyed clubbing yesterday.. really needed to take my mind off things.. 
didn't do any radical or crazy stuff though.. =P


As a guy, i have no idea what's the fun if you can just look at girls.. as we call it "cuci mata".. just not my thing..


To me.. girls are a miracle itself.. (i know i'm sounding like a gay guy.. whatever)
even more, they can smile.. 

If I ever manage to somehow make them smile.. i feel every sacrifice is worth it..

hmm.. if you get too attach to someone.. then you're bound to be experience a whole new phase of life.. Love..


sigh.. I cant talk much about it.. I've never had a girlfriend before(true story... T-T).. but i've seen and help enough of them to know much about it..


but i do miss someone..

I've made many mistake and wrong in my life before.. but the most hurtful was hurting my loved ones.. When she cries because of me, my heart just stops and I cant breath watching her in pain.. how could a guy ever hurt a girl...? i really don't get it sometimes.. 

I think it's better if she never even knew me now.. all i did was bring her sadness, when I promised her to make her smile always.. every tear she cried, stabs my heart..

I'm sorry for being me..

on the other news..
I'm going to my Monday's court appointment.. something to swear about my father's things.. hmm.. this things just reminds me who i am really inside.. wish i'm not who i am..

maybe after that, everything will change.. I wont be around.. i just dont know.. and somewhat dont care anymore.. all my choices only hurt others..


well.. we'll just see what happens.. till next time..