The meaning behind a kiss...

A meaning of a kiss..

To me,

A kiss shows many kinds of feelings to someone you love and like.. If that special someone let you kiss her, I wish I will never be far apart from her.. Every kiss is like when i saw a shooting star, I will make a silent wish in my heart.. and all the wish is for her..

there are few sweet place I know that is really sweet..

Forehead

Kissing here is the most common place and caring.. It's a place to wish good night to you loved one..

To wish sweet dreams and good night..

Also, kissing here means I 

wish all the best for her and to let her know that I'm always close to her..

to let her know I'm always there for her..

Cheek

here is to wish that 

she is really really cute and I like her just the way she is~

I don't want to see her change..

I don't want to see her sad and tired, I hope that a kiss here will cheer her up

as a friendship kiss and remind her that I'm nearby..

Nose

rarely happens..

but it's a cute and happy kiss~

just to wish a happy day and have fun~

sweet playful kiss..

Neck

kissing softly here means so many things..

I wish for her to feel comfortable and safe around me..

I wish to tell her that you can trust me, that I'm here just to make her happy and smile..

and  that we'll always be friends..

Heart

to me.. is the most important kiss..

I wish.. 

to take away all your pain and suffering..

let me listen to your heart beat.. so that i know what you really want..

I will try my best, to take care of you, to protect you, and to carry you when you feeling down..

anywhere hurt

like finger, arm, leg or back pain..

A soft kiss and slowly blow..

I wish for you to heal and get well soon..

to let you know, if you're in pain..

I will never leave you when you need somebody..

well.. that's all i guess..

I know i sound stupid and childish.. but, it really means a lot to me.. I want to keep our friendship as long as possible.. every kiss, I will wish something.. it is very special to me..

hope you understand..

I miss you..

Hi.. how are you feeling today...?

hmm.. things are repeating nowadays.. work, eat, sleep.. >,<"

lesser and lesser people wan play pool with me.. they say because i keep winning?? that means being good also means not good?? hmm... then i just play alone only...

When there is nothing to do, I start think a lot of things.. 

Missing someone is really hard.. I tried to stop thinking of her.. but everywhere i go and everything i do, i wish she was beside me..

I plan to continue study far away.. but the last time i said want to continue study, many bad things happen.. and it's all cause i wanted to do the things i want..

My family suffer a lot cause of me being selfish.. and i dont mind if everybody blame me.. i dont have the energy to fight back anything already..

Anyhow, maybe i should give up trying to make myself happy.. cause i realize if I'm happy, people beside me are sad.. i really dont understand..

Should i really be here...? I feel like running away.. 

i tried to solve the problems but they just wont give me a chance..

If i go away.. i feel my friends here will be more comfortable.. right...?

I'll accept what you want me to be..

huh.. it's been awhile.. 

Friends, work, health, and future plannings.. a lot of stuff to say out.. >,<"

why do all things like to come together at the same time...?? it's just cause problems and more problems..

Friends

I've told my life story(just a bit) to someone.. sigh.. unfortunately, made her scared of me already.. I already warn her many times and i myself knows it's not the best thing to do.. My life's story is for me alone to carry.. I'm really sorry to her.. but she keeps asking for it.. hmm.. >,<"

but.. on the happy side.. I just got a best friend.. hehe.. happy~ <3
 

Work

What the hell.... this was the first time I've been asked to work 3 days straight.. 3 days 26 hours per day.. both part timers say got their own problem and stuffs to do.. work till my body weak and cant stand the cold already.. always tired but hard to sleep.. my head feels like so heavy!!.. T-T
and after all that.. no holidays for me... sigh.. cry also no use.. complain also no use.. 

Health

After working continuously, i feel my body very hot.. >,<" they say must drink 100 Plus.. but but.. i like Coca-Cola.. T^T how leh...? mimimi.. just don't care la.. =P

Future plans

hmm.. my mother started to push me to go elsewhere.. I know it's the right thing to do.. but I'm comfortable here.. I like it here.. I love where i am now.. can she understand that...?
I love the people here and the place.. I've tried working away, it's really lonely and suffering.. to me, it's not better than here.. I wish she'd understand this.. please please...


~Thanks for reading my thoughts, till next time~

Friends.. where are you...?

Somehow.. I dont know why i slowly cant see who are my friends anymore..

It's like there's a big wall i front of me.. and i don't have to strength to climb over it anymore..

Trying to stop missing someone is really hard.. every time I just stop doing anything, she comes to my mind..

not only her, add all the things that pulls me down.. i'm starting to know why emo people cut themselves, maybe cause when they see the blood flowing it's the "pain" that's coming out... 

sigh.. I really cant keep this up.. can i give up...?

What am i suppose to do....?

hmm.. there's someone who suddenly willing to help me.. but i keep thinking it's already to late..

and i dont want to be a disturbance to her.. my stories will only bring tears and sadness, why do i want to pass it around to people i care about..?

I dont mind letting it hurt me inside.. than hurting others..

I wish to leave everything behind..

hmm.. they say the past is a ghost that haunts you in the present..

I know what it means.. yesterday after the court session, I kinda wished i wouldn't have anything to do with my family anymore..I've hurt them more than enough already..

and my friends..

I'm really sorry for you to know me.. I tried to be kind and good, but i just don't know why I keep causing problems and make you guys feel not comfortable around me.. I see it in your eyes.. the way you look at me is different from others.. i hate it so much..

Why is it when i scream my lungs out, there's no one that hears me...?

I got too used to being alone that I don't trust there will be anyone will welcome me with open arms anymore..

Keeping my mind away from problems..

I actually love hang over.. i feel like I've really enjoyed last night and have an excuse to just sit back and relax.. ^^

I enjoyed clubbing yesterday.. really needed to take my mind off things.. 
didn't do any radical or crazy stuff though.. =P


As a guy, i have no idea what's the fun if you can just look at girls.. as we call it "cuci mata".. just not my thing..


To me.. girls are a miracle itself.. (i know i'm sounding like a gay guy.. whatever)
even more, they can smile.. 

If I ever manage to somehow make them smile.. i feel every sacrifice is worth it..

hmm.. if you get too attach to someone.. then you're bound to be experience a whole new phase of life.. Love..


sigh.. I cant talk much about it.. I've never had a girlfriend before(true story... T-T).. but i've seen and help enough of them to know much about it..


but i do miss someone..

I've made many mistake and wrong in my life before.. but the most hurtful was hurting my loved ones.. When she cries because of me, my heart just stops and I cant breath watching her in pain.. how could a guy ever hurt a girl...? i really don't get it sometimes.. 

I think it's better if she never even knew me now.. all i did was bring her sadness, when I promised her to make her smile always.. every tear she cried, stabs my heart..

I'm sorry for being me..

on the other news..
I'm going to my Monday's court appointment.. something to swear about my father's things.. hmm.. this things just reminds me who i am really inside.. wish i'm not who i am..

maybe after that, everything will change.. I wont be around.. i just dont know.. and somewhat dont care anymore.. all my choices only hurt others..


well.. we'll just see what happens.. till next time..

This is how i look before clubbing~

wow.. i cant believe i took my own pictures.. as a guy >,<"

but i just wanted to post some pictures here.. ^^

First pic.. I tried to get a nice profile pic.. 

and then...

a good close up... hair falls over just as I click the camera.. but kinda like it that way.. haha.. 

this was me... before clubbing yesterday... friends told me i look "cool", hmm.. i see my self like a vampire.. very weird.. >,<"

She is the cutest girl I know...

I keep thinking of her... >,<"
and I know it's a bad way to start my day... hmm.. but i just cant help it..

I've been waiting for her to update her blog for quite sometime now, I'm beginning to think she wont post anything anymore..
but suddenly..

She post some new photos of her self.. and is really really cute! (^o^)/")


erm.. she's really my cutest friend.. every time i see her, i still cant believe she accepts me as friends.. >,<"


but then.. also.. every time i realize how far we're apart, seeing her photos just hurts my heart..
I know i can never be more than friends.. but my body just cant help to fall for her..


I don't want to scare her away, but i wished she'll accept my feelings too.. 
hmm.. how come someone so perfect could ever be my friend...? why do I care for her so much more than others...? why do i feel pain in my heart when she's away...?

what's wrong with me...?


i'm trying to accept that i at least got a chance to meet her.. that should be enough..
I know i'm going away soon.. and maybe there's no chance to meet her anymore..
I'm just worried that i cant stop missing her..


I promised her that i wont disturb anymore.. but i really hate that promise..
so now, i'm just waiting... maybe 1 day.. she'll miss me........


I need to do things to make me not think of her.. I went clubbing with some friends today...
It helps for awhile..

please.. i don't want to miss you anymore.. please.......

Feeling like an outsider.. as always..

hmm.. today past by kinda fast..

after opening shop at 10am, customer's just flooded in!

even though it's tiring, but i guess that's good for me cause of the commission pay.. =)

but.. it happens many times to me.. when i just stop doing things for a moment, i keep thinking bout all the things i did wrong..

I wonder why i do this to myself.. i cant stop blaming myself for hurting others.. I know my fault.. and I accept that i don't deserve to be treated as a friend.. I'm saying this truly from my heart..

and then, missing someone isn't helping to stop the pain in my heart.. I'm really not sure i can keep this feelings inside of for so long.. T-T

maybe one day, I'll tell you why..

Playing pool keeps my mind not to think bout the bad things.. and when the ball enters, it always amaze myself and my friends.. =)

they just cant believe that I am short sighted with the lens power of 400+!

to me, when i see the blur ball.. it just look bigger to me =P

after work, it's Dota time with some college friends.. I really like to listen friends voices all around me.. it makes me think i'm actually one of you guys.. =)

and for that.. i'm really grateful.. =D

thanks..

I love my friends.. everyone of them..

 

Relaxing day~

Woo hoo~ happy day~

I win all the games of pool today... friends challenged me from morning till night, but still I won the game.. =)

I wanted to join a pool competition nearby my place,

but when I tell friends, they just laugh at me.. ='(

oh well.. I'm used to not having any supporters.. Maybe it's just cause I'm really different..

but I'm still gonna try my best~ =D

After work.. Me and 3 of my friends went to watch Kungfu Panda 2!!

It's my second time watching it(it's that good~!), first I watched it in Cantonese, now in English~

Jack Black is really awesome as Po~ =)

Well.. That's all for today.. tomorrow is another day~ see ya~ =)

My first day~

Hello viewer(s),
  

I'm not pretty sure how to start a blog or what is this for...

 
I'm starting this blog because of all the things that has happen to me, 
I feel like i need to let it out... 


and also, 


cause of someone who's very important to me is blogging too~ 

well.. Wish me luck to continue posting~ I'll try to keep in as interesting as possible~

take care and smile always~