It's a beautiful lie..

I always believe when you say "we're friends".. 

you will never forget about me..

that we can talk about anything that we want..

that we care for each other..

share happy and sad stories and moments in our lives..

and most important..

never leave when i needed you the most..

but i guess i was wrong..

i really should have already realize that I'm not allowed to have friends.. I not supposed to ask for company.. I don't deserve to be treated well..

I should have realize that being different means to live alone.. be hated by everyone and everything.. 

even if all i think about is to be their "friend".. a good friend.. a best friend..

when any of them are sad or have something bothering them.. I think i tried to helped them in anyway i can.. I know i did.. but how come they can just forget about it like it was just nothing?? 

is it too small things to remember..? is it that without me, they still can manage to solve their problems..?

but when they ask for help, it's like they we're crying and  in pain.. it was all a lie...? they're acting just to use me..?

I wont regret being your friend.. I still keep every memory i can a bout you.. cause that is what keeps me alive now.. 

I don't mind if you were acting to be my friend.. at least.. I was happy when I meet you..

thanks.. for all the things you did for me.. and sorry.. for all the things I have done to you..

I miss you..